I don’t want you thinking I’m sad…

It’s just the wild, recklessness of this whole thing.

This puzzle that never gives you all the pieces;

Yet you start with the edges and move the best you can inward,

to the heart of it all.

When I wrap you in my arms, and…

When I say “I am proud of you”,

I’m moved by your courage to be afraid.

When I say “I am proud of you”,

I am praying for you to see through illusion.

When I say “I am proud of you”,

I’m hoping I don’t forget the sound of your laugh.

When I say “I am proud of you”,

I am jealous of your youth; your dreams.

When I say “I am proud of you”,

I’m applauding your perseverance.

When I say “I am proud of you”,

I am crossing my fingers that your heart never breaks.

When I say “I am proud of you”,

I am remembering Alaska, Minnesota lakes, and high Colorado…

George, Coco, Geo, and the games we played - seeing all the times your heart burst wide open.

When I say “I am proud of you”,

I am taking none of the credit, but all the blame; forever.

When I say “I am proud of you”,

I’m scared to death that I ran out of time with you.

-sigh-

 
When I say “I am proud of you”,

And give you one last squeeze,

I am desperately wishing that you see the picture I tried to create for you,

in the puzzle of those five little words.

And maybe I am a little sad too.